


because we're so good at lying

by dorktobio



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, always wanted to do a trope like this, more tags will be added along the way, other characters will be added too
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-07
Updated: 2015-12-29
Packaged: 2018-02-28 11:33:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2730923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dorktobio/pseuds/dorktobio
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kageyama and Hinata have to pose as friends for the cameras and become roommates after engaging in a fight on national television.</p>
<p>Complication: unbeknownst to the public, Kageyama and Hinata are steadfast rivals—well, at least, in high school they were—and getting them to pretend to be friends isn’t going to be easy. Can these two look past their rivalry and cooperate for the sake of their dream?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi hi!! this is a new multi-chapter fic i'm doing. i've always wanted to write about fake dating because it's one of my fave aus!! okay, well, something like that. anyway i hope you'll think it's good (or else i wont continue it haha) :)

“It’s only for a month,” his manager states. “You don’t even have to sleep in the same room.”

   Kageyama looks up from the table. A dark-haired boy with an infamous reputation to his name, Kageyama Tobio, with twenty years to his name, recently became the official setter of Japan’s national volleyball team. It was a tall mountain to climb with feats of opponents to face, but when the boy finally managed to grasp hold of his long-desired position he knew he wasn’t going anywhere other than higher up—that is, unless he can comply to the demands of his sports manager.

   “We’ve already spoken to the other person and he’s willing to cooperate if you are,” the manager continues. “All you need is to—“

   Kageyama clicks his tongue, a scowl appears on his face. “I don’t see why _I_ need to do this. He’s the one with problems, not me.”

   “Kageyama-san, I don’t think you understand what’s at stake here. Because of the _incident_ , the media’s been portraying the both of you… unfavourably. And that’s not going to do well for the entire team. We need you—the both of you—to have a good relationship, or at least pretend.”

   Leaning back into the couch, Kageyama sighs. He runs his hand through his hair and thinks for a moment—thinks of how this entire arrangement could only result in more disaster. But then he thinks, for the sake of his career and dream, that he has no other choice.

   “And I don’t want to do it?” he asks, even though he knows the answer.

   “We’re going to have to find another setter for Japan’s national team then… maybe Oikawa Tooru?” his manager says warily.

   Kageyama shakes his head when he hears that cocky bastard’s name. He groans. “All I have to do is pretend I’m friends with that idiot, right?”

   Kageyama’s manager coughs at the word ‘idiot’ but nods. “Yes, for one month (or at least until the press dies down) you’ll have to move into a flat with _your teammate_ —to show the media that you’re willing to put your differences aside, and, at all times, be seen in the public on good terms. As friends, precisely.”

   Then, from his briefcase, he takes out a piece of paper and places it on the table. Bringing out a pen, he passes it to Kageyama and asks him to sign his name at the bottom. _Just in case,_ his manager says.

   Kageyama doesn’t understand why his hand isn’t trembling as it takes the pen. It should be, it very well should be. Because he could very well be making a huge mistake at the moment, but he doesn’t tremble and he professionally signs his name.

   Just as he releases the ink off the contract paper, the door slams open. Kageyama stands up abruptly, and his expression turns back into a mean scowl.

   “What the hell is he doing here?” he hisses, as his eyes looking down on the orange-headed boy that has entered the room.

   The orange-headed boy glares back at him. Kageyama almost wants to laugh out loud, _does he think his glare is threatening at all?_ Instead he simply rolls his eyes and watches as the boy stomps his little feet towards him.

   He looks like a twelve-year-old when he does that, and he basically is. He looks like a middle-schooler when he’s no younger than Kageyama, and he’s short— way shorter than Kageyama, who never fails to tease him about it. And the unusual colour of his hair only makes him look more childish.

   “I signed the contract too,” the boy speaks. He stands audaciously in front of Kageyama. “But there’s one thing I need to do before we begin this stupid act.”

   “And what’s that, dumbass Hinata?” Kageyama growls.

   But before he knows it, a balled fist comes in contact with his face and his body is sent falling to the ground.

 

   “Kageyama-san! Kageyama-san! Can you tell the media what happened to you? Why is your face bruised? Did Hinata-san do that to you?”

   Kageyama squints as camera flashes into his eyes. He raises his hand in front of his face, and through the cracks of his fingers, he stares at the horde of paparazzi that has surrounded him. They’re all trying to get shots of his battered face and answers to why and—most importantly—who did that to him.

   If he’s being honest, he doesn’t really understand why Hinata decided to punch him right after they had signed the contract. He doesn’t understand much of anything at the time. Only that he really hates paparazzi and wants to get away from them as quickly as possible.

   As his bodyguards shuffle him out of the building where he just had his meeting with his manager (and unfortunately where he’s been knocked out in the face), he glances back momentarily to the orange-headed boy following behind him.

   He’s being crowded by paparazzi as well, being paraded with questions and put under scrutiny. He’s in a much worse situation than Kageyama, and the dark-haired boy realises it. With only one bodyguard and his small form, he can barely make his way through the relentless mob.

   For a flash of a moment, Kageyama feels pity for the boy, and without thought at all, he reaches his hand back and forcefully grabs the boy by his wrist.

   It doesn’t register in Kageyama what he just did until he hears the loud gasp coming from the crowd. His eyes widen with shock but, surprisingly, his hand doesn’t let go. Instead, he tightens its grip and pulls the boy forward as he walks. Kageyama lowers his head as he scurries into the car that has been waiting outside for them.

   The paparazzi are persistent. “Kageyama-san! Hinata-san! Does this mean you’re friends? Does this mean that you’ve put that incident behind you? Tell the public—“

   Tugging the other boy’s wrist, Kageyama shoves him into the car, practically jumps in and slams the door shut. There’s a moment of silence as Kageyama lets out a sigh of relief. The noise and flashes already feel far away for him.

   All of a sudden, the car swerves and Kageyama—who isn’t wearing a seatbelt—is thrust forward and he hits face-first against the back of the driver seat.

   “Kageyama! Are you okay?” Hinata asks, frightened.

   The car makes yet another swerve and Kageyama’s body is thrown back into his seat. He thinks he’s seeing stars as he looks up at the roof. _How the hell did this guy get a driver’s license?_ He wonders, mentally cursing the reckless driver.

   “I’ve been punched in the face and just slammed the front seat right at my bruise, do you think I’m okay?” he snaps at the other boy.

   He hears a soft apology from the driver but ignores it. He’s too tired and too dizzy to care.

 “I guess not, since you’re almost never okay,” Hinata mumbles. Kageyama doesn’t appreciate his tone but doesn’t reply either. He rubs his temples tiredly.

   Hinata speaks again, much to Kageyama’s annoyance.  “But, um… you know…”

   “What?” He turns to face the shorter boy, whose face is blushing for whatever reason. Fatigue, maybe?

   “You’re still holding my wrist…” he drawls out, his eyes darting down to Kageyama’s fingers wrapped around his wrist.

   Kageyama’s cheeks turns bright red when he realises. Swiftly, he draws his hand back in embarrassment and rests it on his lap. It’s trembling for some apparent reason. _Trembling now? Really?_ He shakes his head lowly, it’s probably due to the overwhelming feelings he’s having, he resolves.

   An awkward silence falls and Kageyama takes the moment to peek at the boy sitting on the other side of the car. With flashy orange hair and a wild personality to match his complex, Kageyama shouldn’t have been surprised when Hinata swung his fist at him all of a sudden. Hinata Shouyou is reckless and rowdy, so doing stupid things—at the worst possible times—is only expected of his nature.

   And, of course, it’s because of his recklessness that they’re stuck in this mess. Well, at least, Kageyama wants to blame him. Deep down he knows he’s partially at fault, but right now, with a damned bruised cheek, it seems alright for him to blame the other boy.

   Kageyama continues to zone out, the music blasting from the car radio drowning out the sounds of his thoughts (Kageyama thinks the driver has horrible taste, by the way) and it isn’t until after an hour later that the car stops.

   They drop off Kageyama at his place first. He exits the car without hesitation, and without saying goodbye to the other boy.

   As he makes his way back home—his very comfortably independent and single home—he thinks of how he’ll miss the space. Not because the place was a great place, it wasn’t actually; with an elevator that’s constantly breaking down and neighbours that don’t know the definition of peace and quiet. But because he knows he’s in for a hell of a crazy life when he moves into this “new” apartment.

   He practically falls into his sofa the moment he arrives home. He’s so tired and frustrated and overwhelmed from today. He takes off his jacket and turns on the TV.

   “Kageyama Tobio and Hinata Shouyou, the latest addition to Japan’s national volleyball team, were spotted leaving a building together not too long ago. The newly appointed setter was seen with a bruise on his left cheek! We wonder what happened in that building! However, despite suspicions that the new middle-blocker was the culprit of that, the two were seen holding hands! Does this mean that they’ve reconciled?

   “Last month’s incident involving the two seemed to have the sports world shaken, where the both of them started lashing out at each other wildly minutes after an important match, which they lost, unfortunately. The entire incident, despite lasting less than a minute, was caught on national television, shocking the public. Now that’s not what teamwork’s about!”

   “The boys sought to play down the incident, while being suspended from playing, and there hasn’t been any official statement on the current situation, but from the looks of the new footage, it seems that things might be looking up for the two…”

   Kageyama switches the TV off with a click and he buries his face into his hand. He hasn’t thought about that day until recently; he hasn’t _wanted_ to think about it.

   But now, it’s all coming back. He remembers that day all too well; it was raining, the stadium was packed and Kageyama had grabbed Hinata by the collar and thrown him on the floor.

   As much as he doesn’t want to remember it, he does. Painfully so, during his suspension, he spent nights reliving and then trying to forget that moment. He’s embarrassed, entirely, and he regrets publicly fighting the other boy for only one reason—that is, he put his career in jeopardy. All for an orange-headed boy he couldn’t handle.

   In truth, when Kageyama found out that the orange-headed boy was going to join the national team as well and become his new teammate, he felt his heart twist into a thousand knots. He knew it was coming, eventually, of course, he’s not going to deny Hinata’s talent. He just didn’t think it’d be so soon and he had hoped it wouldn’t be the same time as him. Because then it’d create a disaster—and it did.

   He knew he’d had to face his old rival eventually. Back in high school, the two heads would clash as they faced off each other in every tournament. Hinata’s incredible but raw ability pissed the hell out of the taller boy, and his own overbearing attitude frustrated the other. Naturally, they found themselves at odds and with a bold declaration from Hinata’s stand, they became rivals, challenging and competing each other to reach the top. And Kageyama considers that they still are rivals—not that that’s why they caused a scene in front of millions of viewers.

   And now, they have to deal with the consequences of their actions. Now, they have a contract, which will bind their fates together for entirety of thirty days. Their contract which came with the terms and conditions that Kageyama and his long-time rival were to “get along” for the sake of good publicity.

   It’s giving Kageyama a headache and the boy decides he’s had enough for today. Trudging his body to his bedroom, he doesn’t even care that he probably needs a shower and that it’s only evening time. He flops onto bed and tries to fall asleep, hoping tomorrow will be a better day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama blames Hinata for everything.

_“In a joint statement, Kageyama Tobio and Hinata Shouyou’s representatives said: As a result of the national release of the unfortunate incident on November 5th, there has much speculation about the relationship between the professional players. But the most important thing is that the teammates have worked through it._

_“Kageyama and Hinata each assume responsibility for what has occurred. They both acknowledge their roles in this private matter that has played out in the public. They have apologised to each other and have decided to look past the incident in hopes of achieving the same goal of becoming a united team.”_

   Kageyama groans when he hears the new on the television. He drops his belongings on the floor and moves to turn it off, shooting the orange-headed boy who was watching a harsh glare.

   “Did you really have to watch that?” he asks grouchily.

   Hinata whines. Snatches the remote controller back from him. “I was checking out the TV and that was the first channel that popped up, idiot!”

   Kageyama rolls his eyes and walks off, back to unpacking. He still can’t believe it’s happening, and that he didn’t try to lock himself up in old apartment, refusing to leave.

   Unfortunately for him, the new place seems kind of cool. When he first arrived at a tall glassy building he couldn’t believe it was his new apartment. It looked more like a well-kept, three-star hotel in his eyes. And even more unfortunately for him, he thought it was far better than his old, shabby shoebox of an apartment.

   The place already furnished, Kageyama only packed three boxes of the belongings he brought—clothes, books and other necessities. He didn’t bring everything of his from his home and was even allowed to keep his old place. He decides that once this damned contract ends, he wouldn't want to waste too much time packing back up and moving back.

   When he arrived at the apartment, he saw that other boy had gotten ahead of him. He curses silently, secretly wanting to be first. The apartment is—in simplest terms—polished. With all the necessary furniture in place and white walls everywhere, the entire apartment looks, obviously, new and untouched. Kageyama wonders who will be the one to make messes around the house.

   Hinata explores the place and checks out other stuff. He opens the curtains, opens the kitchen cabinets, checks the bathroom and lies on the couch.

   “You haven’t even started unpacking and you’re already relaxing?” Kageyama grunts, shaking his head.

   “Shut up, I just wanna see the place first. After all, we’ll be staying here for _a whole month_.”

   Kageyama cringes when he says that. One month doesn’t seem so long, but an entirety of thirty days wasn’t going an easy feat with this wild child. Every single day would be troublesome and Kageyama wonders what he’ll wake up to each day.

   “Whatever. Just unpack,” Kageyama mutters.

   “Yes, sir,” Hinata replies sarcastically. “But it’s not like we have much to unpack, you know.”

   Kageyama chooses to ignore him. He proceeds to carry his clothes to his room. There are two bedrooms in this apartment, which Kageyama is thankful for. He really doesn’t want to share a room, let alone a bed, with the other boy.

   Eventually, he’s done with his share of unpacking. All his things are in his room, he’s placed his mug on the kitchen rack and his toothbrush in the bathroom. On the other hand, the orange-headed lazy boy has been watching TV since they “moved in together”. Kageyama rolls his eyes, deciding not to care about it anymore and nag at him.

   Kageyama makes one last glance at him before locking himself in his room. At least they don’t have to share a room, one of them would end up murdering the other in his sleep. Exhausted, he flops onto his bed and falls asleep almost right away.

   Years ago, when high school just started for Kageyama, he used to be scared of falling asleep and stayed awake for hours. He was afraid of getting nightmares. And his nightmares weren't the childish kind, the monsters chasing you or dreaming someone stole your ice-cream—they were borderline anxiety scares. He'd dream of people despising him, not wanting to trust him. He'd dream of being alone and abandoned. Except... for that short while, as high school picked up, when there were no nightmares. He dreamed he wasn't alone. He had a friend, a boy who told him he was there for him. Nowadays, he doesn't have such fantasies, as he calls them, or nightmares anymore; he's grown numb to the both of them. 

   Kageyama barely got a full hour of sleep when his alarm rings. He groans but he wakes up and turns off his alarm. He almost forgets that they still have volleyball practice that day. _Great scheduling_ , he thinks, _to move home the same day I have practice._ After getting ready, he walks into the living room, with his jacket on and sports duffel bag on his shoulder, expecting to find his _teammate_ ready as well. Instead, he finds Hinata lying on the couch and watching television, crumbs and chips on his shirt.

   “Oi!” he shouts, kicking Hinata’s leg. “What the hell is this?”

   Hinata shouts in pain and props up, the crumbs and chips flying off his body. “Ow! What the hell was that for?”

   “We have practice in an hour and you’re not ready, ” Kageyama states, glaring at him.

   Hinata’s eyes grow wide in realisation and he quickly gets up and off the couch. Kageyama shakes his head but he wait at the door as the other gets ready. He yells at him from the doorway, ordering him to “hurry his shit up”. Hinata shouts back, berates him for being “vulgar”.

   Kageyama mentally remarks how weird this is. He’d never thought he’d leave his house with someone else locking the door behind him—at least not with a person like Hinata (who struggles locking the door and it frustrates Hinata). He realises he’s going to have to live with this for another thirty days and he almost wants to kill himself.

    They make their way to the train station. It’s a three-minutes walk there, as compared to Kageyama’s old place; it took him almost fifteen minutes. Kageyama wonders if he’ll ever stop comparing the two places. Probably never, he thinks. He’s always trying to find ways to hate his new living space.

    Hinata doesn’t stop talking throughout their ride there. He talks about the new place, his old place, how excited he is to be on the team... Kageyama couldn’t care less. He could only question how the boy has the breath to do so and if he’s at all aware that they’re supposed to rivals. Were rivals supposed to be having casual conversations?

    When they finally reach their destination, a stadium reserved for professional players like them (Kageyama’s secretly all smug about that), Kageyama feels as if he can finally breathe. Not wasting time, he hastily goes to change and finds the other players already warming up on the court.

   They ask Hinata (who’s apparently more approachable) about how he feels about moving in with Kageyama. Hinata is honest, as always, when he answers.

   “It’s alright. The place is really cool, has a really nice TV, but Kageyama is the nagging type!” he tells them. They laugh.

   “Am not!” Kageyama shouts. He slaps his hand on his mouth, thinking he sounded totally childish and unprofessional in a highly professional and respectable place like this.

   The others stare at him in shock. Kageyama hasn’t spoke much in his time on the team, let alone reveal his true nature. He regrets it immediately and in his mind, blames it entirely on the other boy.

   Kageyama tries to cover up his blunder. “Ah, I-I… I mean… I’m... I-I’m not that kind… of person..”

   All of a sudden, he hears them bursting into laughter. Kageyama frowns.

   “I didn’t know Kageyama’s actually like that!” one says, slapping his thigh jokingly.

   “Same! I thought he was the quiet type!” another cries.

    Kageyama catches Hinata staring blankly at him too. It’s almost as if he’s surprised by Kageyama’s “sudden outburst” too, but Kageyama thinks he shouldn’t be. He’s probably surprised Kageyama tired to cover up his blunder. Because in truth, Hinata’s seen him yell before, back in high school. Kageyama turns away, hiding the blush that’s rising on his cheeks. _It’s his fault. It’s all his fault,_ he keeps thinking.

    Practice begins and Kageyama is more quiet than ever. Not that he needs to talk to anyone; everyone’s already diverting their attention to a certain noisy child. Kageyama practices by himself, serving up a ball in the corner of the court. He’s used to such loneliness. No one ever wanted to partner-up with him. No one ever wanted to train with the infamous King.

    He’s glad that no one on this team knows of his past. His old high-school self is a secret he wants to keep from everyone. He’s far too embarrassed, far too traumatised by the abandonment he experienced back then, to ever tell anyone about it—which makes Hinata’s existence here all the more infuriating.

    It’s a constant reminder. The more Kageyama looks at him, listens to him, the more he thinks he’s bound to break. And then he remembers that he did.

    _It’s all coming back. He remembers that day all too well; it was raining outside, the stadium was packed and Kageyama had grabbed Hinata by the collar and thrown him on the floor._

    November 5th: Kageyama was fidgeting as he sat on the bench, the vast sight of the court in front of him, and the sound of the crowd cheering for his team was filling his ears. When he noticed his hands were sweating, he realised that the match hasn’t even started and he was already nervous.

    It was his second ever match; an important match, and Kageyama knew he couldn’t mess it up. He might have already officialised his position on the team but he’s got to prove that his first match—a victory for him, his team won and his prodigious ability as a setter was apparent to everyone—wasn’t a fluke.

    But it wasn’t easy, not when his old high-school rival was sitting on the other side of the bench. The orange-headed was trembling too as he spoke to the other players. He was no different from Kageyama at that moment, they’re both newbies. Except that it’s Hinata’s first match.

    Kageyama watched and really looked at him because it’s been so long since he’s seen him. Well, he’s actually met him the week before when he walked into the training gym with a big smile on his face and the manager announced that he was going to be joining the team.

    But that was different. Kageyama hadn’t seen him _on the court._ That’s where it matters, that’s where anything ever matters.

   As Kageyama tuned into a conversation between him and the other players, he thought of all the wisecracks he could have input but he doesn’t. He’s not that kind of person anymore.

   When the referee called all players to come the court. Kageyama made one last glance to the other boy before he stood, as if to capture his last moment before he shows his worth on the grand stage. After that, the whistle blew, the match begun, and what ever happened next…

   The match ended with a score of 2-0. Japan’s national team has lost.

    In front of the net, Kageyama felt his body tremble. The ball dropped to the floor, and Kageyama felt as if his entire world just did to. He couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t think straight.

    Without much thinking—without thinking at all, he blamed the orange-headed boy. It’s because of him that Kageyama’s not in sync. It’s because his ability couldn’t flow with Kageyama’s. He blamed him entirely—for not playing as well as he did, for not being good enough to win, for just freaking _existing_ at that moment—for the team’s loss.

   He was pissed as hell, beyond furious. Because that match was his freaking chance to prove his worth too, and Hinata-freaking-Shouyou had to mess it up for him. So when Hinata tapped on him on his shoulder—to apologise, to tell him there’s always next time or to tell him to line up with the rest, whatever, it didn’t matter—Kageyama snapped and grabbed him by his collar, lifting his feet off the ground.

   “It’s all your fault,” he seethed through his teeth. “It’s because you’re not essential to winning.”

   Hinata had a grave look on his face too. It’s a half-angry, half-about-to-cry expression that Kageyama thought he had as well. “Screw you,” Hinata spat back. “You’re no different from back then, _King._ "

   It was as if someone had snapped him into half.

   At the moment, Kageyama didn’t even care that the cameras were on him and that he could barely see with the blinding light in his eyes. All he knew was that he wanted to kill the boy in front of him. His icy, bitter tone and words reached Kageyama’s heart and crushed it so hard it crackled.  The next thing he knew, he had thrown the boy on the ground in a fit of frustration and the other players were trying to hold him back from doing anything more.

 

 

“Kageyama… Kageyama… Ka-ge-ya-ma!”   

   Kageyama snaps back to see Hinata standing before him, his hands on his hips. “What?” he hisses.

   “Daydreaming during practice, huh?” Kageyama tries not let the rude comment get to him. “Anyway, we’ve got a team game so you better join!”

   It sounds more like a command than a request and Kageyama hates how bold he is towards him, but he lets it slide for now. Proceeding to the centre of the court, he’s joined by the rest of the players who waste no time to separate themselves into two smaller teams.

   Hinata and Kageyama simultaneously let out a complain about having to be on the same team. They blush when they realise it. Their team captain, a stoic, tall man who plays middle blocker, flatly tells them that if they fight, the others will simply pull them apart so there’s “nothing to worry about”.

   Kageyama doubts that but he lets the matter go. He’d rather much be playing volleyball than dealing with that brat. However, things don’t work for Kageyama at all, because with natures as fierce as his and Hinata’s, there’s bound to be conflict.

   “You’re supposed to block like this, dumbass!” Kageyama yells out frustration at Hinata when he tries to block. Kageyama demonstrates the proper formation to block.

   "I know how to block, idiot! How do you think I got on this team?" Hinata shouts.

   "Pure luck probably!" Kageyama spat back.

   It becomes clear to the team that it would take a lot to make these two get along, and simply moving them in together wasn’t going to cut it. In the end, the captain decides to split the two up. He sighs with the rest of the team as they pull the two boys apart to the separate ends of the court. Separately, the two boys are astounding players—Hinata with his lighting speed and jumps, and Kageyama with his genius setting and technique—but it’s disappointing for the team to feel like getting them to play like a team isn’t going to happen, especially with the trauma of watching them go full on at each other after their last official game. It's disappointing for them to know that they'll only pretend in public.

   Kageyama knows the team feels that way and he feels terribly guilty. But when he thinks about Hinata and how he ruined his high school life, he becomes resentful again. It’s all his fault, he chides, he’ll never forgive Hinata.

   After practice ends, he almost wants to ditch Hinata and head home straight but he doesn’t. He doesn’t want to hear Hinata yell at him again, he’s way too tired. On the train ride back, they are both gravely silent. Hinata doesn’t talk which is a change from earlier this morning but Kageyama doesn’t want to hear him talk either.

   They don’t talk about their fights. They never. Not the one they had just today, not the one they had on national television, not the one they had years ago. They don’t talk about the past, although they should.

   Kageyama knows their past is keeping them from playing to the best but he doesn’t want to admit it. He doesn’t want to admit that he has to forgive and also apologise Hinata in order to be a better player, and person. He hasn’t spoken about the past to anyone, although it haunts him. The only people that know is himself, Hinata and their old teammates at Karasuno.

   The minute they reach home, they barely give each other a glance before storming into their separate rooms. Kageyama finally breathes a sigh of relief as he lets down his bag. He takes a long, long shower before flopping onto bed. He hears the television turn on and he knows Hinata’s watching cartoons or something. He wants to yell at him to turn it off but he decides the sound is good. It drowns out his thoughts and he slowly drifts to sleep.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY for not updating in almost a year. i was caught up in college and i was in a really bad place for a long time. okay okay i'm back and writing again :) pls hope u will stay and continue to read <3


	3. Chapter 3

Kageyama knew from the beginning that moving into an apartment with Hinata meant that there would a lot of trouble, but he didn’t actually expect them to kick off their first morning together fighting.

   It’s eight in the morning and Kageyama, with his dishevelled bedhead and droopy eyes, walks into the kitchen to get some breakfast. But when he opens the fridge, he’s in for a big shock—the food’s gone. He quickly checks in the pantries and cupboards, only to find nothing there either. Angrily, he stomps over to the living room where Hinata decided to sleep for the night.

   “Oi, lazy ass!” he shouts as he kicks him in the stomach. “What happened to the food?”

   Hinata jolts awake in pain. He clutches his stomach and with an aggrieved expression, squints his eyes at Kageyama. “Ow! What the—what the hell, Kageyama!”

   Kageyama grinds his teeth. “There’s no food in the fridge.”

   “What are you talking about? All the food’s here,” Hinata replies, exasperated. He points at the coffee table. Mountains of junk food, chips and cups of instant noodle lay on top of it—most of which have been opened and are just rubbish now.

   Kageyama’s eyes grow wide when he sees the trash and he glares back down at the other boy. “You idiot! Are you saying you ate all the food?”

   “Well, it was the food that _I_ brought,” Hinata states, propping up. Kageyama’s cheeks go red with fury because Hinata’s accusing him of not bringing any food from home (which he totally did, but he’ll never admit it).

   “You can’t just eat all the food and not leave any for the next morning!” Kageyama argues.

   “Why didn’t you bring any food, huh?” Hinata shouts.

   “I expected you would bring enough since you’re always eating with that stupid big mouth!”

   “When did that become my responsibility! Are you saying you left all your food back home? They’ll rot!”

    Kageyama wants to snap at him, he really does. But he could stand there and argue with the other boy all day or deal with the real issue at hand; which is that they don’t have a single grub other than Hinata’s trash of unhealthy (and mostly consumed) snacks.

   “We need to buy food,” he says instead. “I’m going to take a shower and then I’m going to buy food.”

    He doesn’t wait to head to the bathroom.

   “W-what? Are you leaving?” Hinata yells. He stands frantically and chases after Kageyama.

   “Yeah, I’m going to the supermarket,” Kageyama replies, annoyed. He slams the bathroom door in Hinata’s face.

    Hinata bangs the door noisily. “I’m coming with you!” he shouts before going to his own room.

    Kageyama sighs heavily. It’s eight in the morning and he’s hungry but he has to deal with a food-hoarding boy for a flatmate. As he takes a cold shower, his mind calculates the number of days, hours, that he has to deal with this mess. He’s bad at maths but the numbers keep his mind occupied.

    He doesn’t understand why Hinata wants to come. Well, he doesn’t much of anything that Hinata does. And Kageyama is almost tempted to leave the apartment without him but he decides he doesn’t want to come home to a whining child. He waits for Hinata and they exit together.

    They make their way to a convenience store nearby. It’s only a few blocks away and there are smaller shops around the area. Kageyama realises it’s almost too good of a neighbourhood to live in. With a train station that’s only a three-minute walk away, shops left and right and no noisy neighbours, Kageyama thinks this place is better off than his old one. But he doesn’t care, he’s going to keep trying to find ways to hate his new living space. He’s determined to make himself hate this one-month experience.

    “Oi, I’m not a shopping basket!” Hinata yells. He scowls at Kageyama as his arms try to hold up the items Kageyama passed threw at him.

    Kageyama turns back at the other boy and shoots him back a glare. He wants to yell back at him for making a scene in the convenience store but he can practically feel the irritated glares from strangers around so his withholds his urge. They’ve only been inside less than two minutes and they might already be kicked out.

    “Whatever. Get a cart or something. You’re carrying the stuff,” he tells Hinata, turning back to pick stuff off the shelves. Kageyama is entirely stubborn and bossy but he doesn’t care. He’s doing it on purpose. He wants Hinata to hate him as much as he hates Hinata.

    “Okay, but I want cereal,” Hinata chirps, almost too eagerly, and skips off to get a cart. _He’s just like a kid,_ Kageyama thinks, shaking his head. And he’s no different from when he was in high school; childish, cheeky, naive. It almost gives Kageyama a headache

    They roam down the cereal aisle, Hinata humming and Kageyama asking him to shut up two seconds later. Kageyama grabs his favourite cereal and watches as Hinata stares at the whole shelf of cereal, a constipated look on his face.

    “What’s taking so long?” Kageyama snaps, irritated.

    “I don’t know which cereal to get… Fruit Loops are my favourite but Lucky Charms comes with a prize…” Hinata has his arms folded.

    Kageyama merely rolls his eyes and pushes the cart past him, ignoring Hinata asking him to wait. He really feels he was dealing with a kid. Hinata finally decides on Lucky Charms and chases after Kageyama. He smiles cheekily as he drops his cereal in the cart.

    After buying a couple more food, they make their way to the cashier. Kageyama ends up paying for the food because Hinata “forgot his wallet” (Kageyama caught him check his wallet two aisles before and realise he was broke). When they head out of the store, Hinata is humming again because he got his cereal but that's interrupted by the sound of someone shouting.

    "Mommy! Mommy! That's Kageyama Tobio and Hinata Shouyou!" Hinata and Kageyama stop walking and look ahead the street to find a small kid pointing at them while tugging his mother's shirt.

    Kageyama's eyes dart around for paparazzi but there are none to be found. Hinata waves at the boy.

    "Mommy, can I go meet them please?" they hear the boy ask. The mother simply nods.

    Kageyama is dumbstruck. There are two things he can never get along with; animals and children. So when he sees the kid racing towards them, he prays for the life of him that all the kid wants is a photograph and a handshake.

    "Hello, onii-san!" the kid calls out. "Can I have a picture please?"

    Kageyama's too nervous to reply. He looks down at the boy, who's starry-eyed and cheery upon meeting his idols.

    Lucky for him, the orange-haired boy standing next to him loves children (he loves anyone shorter than him). He bends down to the kid's level and speaks for Kageyama's sake, "Of course! Let's ask your mommy to take the picture, okay?"

    The kid nods exciting and tugs his mother's shirt again.

    Kageyama feels Hinata tap him on the shoulder. "Oi, just relax and smile, would you?" Hinata whispers into his ear. Kageyama looks at him and nods.

    Hinata pulls Kageyama down to the kid's level so they're both kneeling beside the him. Without warning, suddenly, his arm wraps around Kageyama. Shuddering, Kageyama feels almost like he has a glitch. Hinata keeps his arm around Kageyama’s shoulder heavily. _For the camera, he must be thinking,_ Kageyama thinks.

    Kageyama musters the nicest smile he can. He doesn’t think he smiles nicely but he doesn’t care. It’s _for the camera._ Hinata probably has a good smile; natural and friendly. Kageyama’s probably scares off children and animals.

    When he finally hears the clicking sound from the camera and Hinata’s arm unwrap, his face falters back into its usual bitterness. His cheeks aren’t used to smiling. The kid and his mother thanks the both of them and they skip along.

    “You suck at smiling,” Hinata sighs, scratching the back of his head as if Kageyama was really that much of a disappointment.

    “So?” Kageyama rebuffs. “I don’t care.”

    Hinata shakes his head. “It’ll scare off the kids and animals!”

    Kageyama grits his teeth and turns around. “Whatever,” he says childishly, “I don’t need to smile to play volleyball.”

    Hinata agrees with him entirely, of course, but that isn’t the point. As they head back to the apartment, Hinata tries tirelessly to get Kageyama to learn how to smile. Kageyama bites the insides of his cheeks the whole time.

    He doesn’t get why Hinata cares that much about smiling, he doesn’t care about it. Hinata says having a nice smile makes a person more approachable. Kageyama gets annoyed and retorts that it has nothing to do with volleyball and repeats for the hundredth time that _he does not care._

    They reach the apartment safely (Kageyama has not tried to strangle Hinata), and the first thing Kageyama does is strode to the kitchen and dump the groceries on the counter. He’s starving, he’s waited long enough for food and he doesn’t care that he wants udon for breakfast.

    He pulls a box of instant udon noodle from one of the grocery bags and a pot from the cupboard near the stove. He starts making the quick meal and tries to ignore when Hinata takes a seat at the kitchen counter.

    “Are you making udon for breakfast?” Hinata asks him.

    “What does it look like, stupid?” Kageyama retorts as he prepares boiling water.

    Hinata moves from his seat and begins to peek over Kageyama’s arm and watch him in curiosity. “I didn’t know you knew how to cook,” he says.

    _There are a lot of things you don’t know about me,_ Kageyama wants to reply, but he doesn’t. He feels a slight pressure to cook well in front of the other boy. As Hinata watches him intently, Kageyama feels like his every small movement is being judged and he grows tense. “Is there something you want?” he inquires coolly.

    Hinata looks up at him with a face of innocence. “Hmm, can you make me udon too?”

    His question is simple and he doesn’t mean any harm but it catches Kageyama off guard. The boy has been surprising him all day. _How can he be so… normal?_ He wonders. He stares at him wide-eyed and tries to see if he’s being serious. They’re rivals, they hate each other, and they’re not supposed to make udon for each other.

    “W-what?” is his immediate reaction.

    “Well I haven’t had breakfast either and I suck at cooking, so can you make me udon?” he continues. Kageyama swears he saw Hinata batting his eyelashes at him.

    He hears the water sizzle in the pot and a slight pink grows on his cheeks. He looks back down at the pot and hesitantly, he nods his head. Hinata almost jumps for joy as he skips back to his seat.

    Kageyama slowly pours the noodles and sets the timer before preparing the miso. Glancing at the other boy out of the corner of his eyes, he can tell Hinata’s grinning casually.

    “Is something wrong, Kageyama?” Hinata ask casually.

    “No,” he grinds out. “Stir the noodle for me.”

    Hinata consents and picks up a wooden spoon. Kageyama watches as Hinata begins to stir carefully. _At least he can do that_ , he thinks. Kageyama’s sure that if Hinata were to actually cook he’d burn down the whole kitchen. Once they’re done, they mix the noodles and miso thoroughly before procuring two bowls and filling it.

    They sit opposite each other at the counter. A silence sets in, and Kageyama’s not sure if it’s the comfortable kind. Hinata, on the other hand, seems content.

As Kageyama eats, he watches as the boy in front chews his food, his face transforming from excitement to surprise to delight. Something strange stirs in Kageyama and he’s not sure if it’s the food—he’s not sure of anything at the moment.

    He doesn’t want to start a conversation with Hinata. That’s the last thing he wants to do—act all buddy-buddy friendly. But they’re acting surprisingly calm and civil about the whole situation, so far. Kageyama doesn’t think it will last, they’ll start yelling at each other soon.

   Suddenly Hinata looks up at him as he chews. Kageyama wonders if Hinata can read his thoughts but decides Hinata’s not that smart. His stare is in no way transparent which makes Kageyama fight to maintain eye contact. If this is some sort of dominance thing, Kageyama wanted to win.

    And that’s when Hinata starts eating faster. Kageyama squints at him and vaguely understands what’s he’s trying to do. He tries to slurp his noodles faster as well. It becomes a competition to see who can eat faster. For some reason, Kageyama wants to win badly.

    But Hinata is the one who finishes first as he gulps his last spoon down and races to drop his bowl in the sink. Kageyama does the same but he’s a little too late. They haven’t broken eye contact until a smile creeps up Hinata’s face.

    He’s smiling again and Kageyama gets that same weird feeling in his tummy. He knows, this time, it’s not the food. Hinata smiles widely, full of pure radiance, and Kageyama feels nostalgia.

    _The competition to be first, to be faster and stronger. The 72 wins and 71 loses. The exhaustion but sheer determination to beat the other the next time._

    It’s nostalgia and Kageyama quickly tries to shake it off; he doesn’t like feeling it at all. He turns his back and walks to the living room to watch television instead. He ignores again when Hinata takes a seat next to him.

    When he turns on the television, the news channel comes on. And like before, Kageyama sees both of their faces on the screen. 

    _“Kageyama Tobio and Hinata Shouyou were spotted heading out a local grocery store together just today! The 20-years-old volleyball stars were all smiles as they stopped to take pictures with a fan outside the store. Rumour has it the two recently moved into an apartment together and a source claims that they are “nothing less than the best of buds”. Seems like things are looking up for the two of them!”_

    Kageyama stares blankly at the screen until they’re no longer in the news. His first thought is _wow, the news sure is quick._ He catches a glance at the other boy, who stares as blankly as him at the screen. Maybe things are looking up for them. Maybe they’ll start arguing again. Whatever is it, Kageyama’s only sure of one thing—that nostalgia feels horrible for him and he needs to get out of the room as soon as possible.

    It’s only something past noon and he feels horrible. There’s no practice, nothing at all to do for the rest of the day and it’s entirely, entirely horrible. He counts again the days, minutes until the contract ends.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you like this chapter! next update will be next week :))


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could write a thousand-word essay about how sorry I am for not updating in a long time but it's better that i leave the words for more writing. okay but i'm really sorry u re-read the entire fic to refresh ur memory!!  
> p.s. i hope u haven't abandoned me too much

Kageyama’s terrible, and will always be, at talking. He gets incredibly nervous and too concerned about saying the right things that can’t format a proper sentence without fumbling over his words and making long awkward pauses. Which is why his manager insists he talks as little as possible during interviews, events and talk show appearances.

    Hinata, on the other hand, is a natural talker and schmoozer. He doesn’t even have to think at all; charismatic words come out his mouth smoothly and with sincerity. Which is why he’s the one doing all the interacting instead.

    “So, let me get this straight,” the interviewer says. She’s a lean, tall woman wearing stockings and a shirt that’s exposing too much of her chest (which makes Kageyama uncomfortable). “In a manner of speaking, you guys are now getting along?”

    Hinata nods. “Yup! We’re really good friends and teammates now. That incident last month was just _bwahhh!!_ But now we’re okay!” he says, his hands gesturing when he said _bwah._ Kageyama shifts in his seat uncomfortably.

         _How can he manage to lie so well?_ He wonders. The Hinata he knows could never bluff or deceive anyone. Hinata couldn’t even lie to his teacher when he didn’t do his homework (he tried the ‘I forgot to bring my homework’ lie which worked temporarily until he felt so guilty that he stood up in the middle of lesson and almost teared up admitting the truth).

    “I see, that’s great news! Seems like the fight you had was out of frustration towards losing and you’ve looked past it right?” the interviewer replies, jotting down his words in her notebook. Hinata and Kageyama nod silently.

    “I’ve also heard you’ve moved in together. Can you verify that?”

    “It’s true! Kageyama-kun and I got an apartment just,” Hinata counts with his fingers, “four, five days ago. We’re both really messy roommates, unfortunately.”

    _Roommates._ Kageyama bites the insides of his cheeks and nods in unison. He turns his head and looks at the boy. Hinata doesn’t look fazed by the questions at all, no matter how sensitive. Kageyama feels like he’s looking at an entirely different person.

    The interviewer laughs. “I can’t possibly imagine but it sounds interesting. What do you think about that, Kageyama-san?”

    When Kageyama hears his name, his train of thoughts break and he looks back at the interviewer. She gives him a superficial smile which makes him flinch. He can feel Hinata staring at him too, and god, it’s like he’s screaming _WE PREPARED FOR THIS._

“U-um, I-I think,” he begins shakingly, "Hinata's right."

    "Y-yeah, I'm right!" Hinata quickly interjects, saving him. "Kageyama thinks I’m a worse slob than him. I can’t cook so he prepares all the meals.”

    That isn’t a lie. Kageyama nods again.

    “That’s hilarious!” the interviewer says, flipping her hair. “Now, what’s the biggest challenge you face being professional athletes? Other than each other.”

    She laughs jokingly. Kageyama wants to groan.

    Hinata smiles. “I think it’s that we’re still newbies in the professional world so we haven’t fully adjusted yet. But we love the support and we love volleyball!” he says, holding up two enthusiastic thumbs-up.

    Kageyma’s not sure if he should do the same. He doesn’t.

    “Great, great. Now final question: how do you intend to recover from your recent loss?”

    The question has both of them stumped. Talking about them losing is a bit… sensitive, especially since neither of them takes losses easily. They’re not the type to easily get back up on their feet after admitting defeat and they definitely don’t have a good record for forgiveness. It’s all too complicated and messed up for the both of them to handle.

    Kageyama looks at Hinata expectantly but slowly realizes that the boy has no idea what to reply. Hinata is doing that thing where he sits up too straight and has literal sweat trickling down his forehead. Kageyama glances at his manager who has a worried look on his face but still mouths to Kageyama not to speak.

    The interviewer stares at both of them anticipatively and clears her throat, very obviously so. Kageyama swears in the moment that she was more annoying than Hinata has been.

    “U-um, w-well,” Hinata stutters, “I-I think—“

    Suddenly, Kageyama slaps his back. Hinata jolts as Kageyama opens his mouth. “I think that the best way to recover is to look forward to the next opportunity. Hinata and I are both practicing hard for our next game and can only hope that our hard work pays off with a win.”

    Hinata gapes at Kageyama as if he’s said the smoothest thing ever. Kageyama smirks softly, as if saying he’s not the only one who can lie. Well, partially lie. What he said wasn’t entirely false; looking forward is one of the baby steps towards recovery, but both of them know it’s not something they would do easily.

    “Well said, Kageyama-san,” the interviewer chimes. “Well, that’s all we have for today! Thank you for taking your time to talk to us. Hinata Shouyou and Kageyama Tobio of our national team, everybody!”

    Hinata and Kageyama give one final wave and smile before the interview finally ends and the camera cuts. They formally thank the interviewer and staff and proceed to leave with their manager.

    The whole day they’ve been having interviews and appearances that it’s been hard on both of them to keep up. Kageyama’s thankful that they’re done for the day. Kageyama, of course, barely said a thing during their events until their very last interview, which shocked Hinata. But if Kageyama hadn’t spoken up, they’d both be in hot water.

    Their way back to the apartment is another silent car ride until Hinata awkwardly tries to talk to Kageyama. “Kageyama,” he begins softly.

    Kageyama turns to him with a tired look. “What?”

    “Just… thank you for back then.”

    Kageyama grits his teeth, as if he doesn’t want to hear that. He doesn’t want and doesn’t need to be thanked. He avoids Hinata’s eyes when he curtly says, “I did it for the camera.”

 

    Eventually, they reach the apartment. Kageyama’s words have left both of them slightly disgruntled but it’s too late for him take back his words. They board the elevator wordlessly and Kageyama presses the button to their level. They wait, Kageyama mumbling to himself why they live on one of the highest floors. They’re about to reach their level when they hear a screeching noise followed by the elevator coming to a stuttering stop.

    The abrupt halt has both of them stumbling. “What the—“ Kageyama mutters, pressing the open and close buttons as if it’d restart the elevator but to no avail. “Shit.”

    Kageyama doesn’t hesitate to press every other button randomly and furiously. He’s been having a tiresome day and the last thing he wants is to be stuck in the elevator when he’s so close to resting.

    “… Don’t say ‘shit’,” Hinata mutters from behind. He’s been quietly standing in the corner not disturbing the irritated Kageyama.

    “What?”

    “Don’t say ‘shit’, you idiot, it’s rude,” Hinata clicks his tongue. He walks over to the elevator panel and calmly presses the emergency button. Kageyama has the urge to pick a fight with him but holds back instead.

    After a while, the speaker above screeches. Maintenance contacts them and reportedly tells them they’re working on it. Hinata thanks them politely while Kageyama fidgets.

    “It’s probably going to take a while,” Hinata comments, sighing as he walks back to the corner and sits down.

    Kageyama shakes his head and slumps against the opposite wall of the elevator. He looks at Hinata through the corner of his eyes, throat drying at the sight of him, which is entirely ironic for today considering he barely talked. Suddenly, he wonders how Hinata has become so… so _smooth_ and so… _mature._ Today, Hinata’s been nothing but a professional adult which irritates the heck out of Kageyama. It’s as if he’s doesn’t want to think that Hinata has grown up, because then that’d mean Kageyama’s the one who’s still a kid.

    The Hinata he knows doesn’t lie smoothly or stays calm when they’re stuck in an elevator. No, the Hinata that Kageyama knows gets nervous and freaks out easily. Maybe that’s why he could so easily speak up when Hinata couldn’t.

    The worst thing about this entire situation is that Kageyama _knows_ Hinata and Hinata _knows_ Kageyama—or at least they’re supposed to. They spent quite a handful of their most lively days of youth together and practically learnt how each other acts and reacts. Kageyama knows when Hinata’s nervous and Hinata can tell if Kageyama is in a bad mood. It’s the little things like this that makes being with each other now so unsettling. They’re not strangers to each other and not to the pain that they both went through.

    But it’s unsettling, too, when they show unpredictable moments when each of them is different from how they usually act. Kageyama sometimes feels like he doesn’t know Hinata. He wonders what Hinata thinks of him. And unlike the silence, Kageyama’s head is filled with chaotic thoughts.

    It feels like hours has passed since maintenance has contacted. Kageyama impatiently punches the emergency button again and again, then slammed his fist in frustration.

    “Kageyama, stop! It’s not going to fix anything,” Hinata tells him, exasperated.

    “At least I’m doing something, dumbass Hinata,” Kageyama sneers, but he slowly gives up and slumps back against the wall.

    Hinata glares at him. “When will you quit with that stupid nickname? I’m not a dumbass, idiot!”

    “Shut up, _you are_.”

    “I’m not!”

    Kageyama glares back at him and sure enough, after a whole day of aggravated tiredness and pent up frustration, they start fighting. Kageyama calls Hinata stupid and suddenly Hinata’s throwing another one of his hits. It’s frustrating and maddening especially since they’re fighting over something so freakin' petty.

    Hinata yells and Kageyama yells louder but eventually, they tire themselves out. With batted breaths, they return to their opposite corners and continue to send angered looks at each other.

    “Hit me any harder and there might have been a bruise,” Kageyama says angrily.

    “As if I care,” Hinata hisses back.

    Kageyama turns away and faces the wall. He takes out his phone to check the time and realizes only 20 minutes have passed. _We can’t even last 20 minutes without picking a fight with each other,_ Kageyama thinks. Unfortunately for him, his phone battery is about to die so there’s no point calling anyone and he doubts Hinata knows how to work a phone seeing how _stupid_ he is.

    They go back to waiting in silence. Time seems to pass even slower than before. Kageyama doesn’t face the other boy but he can practically hear him breathing. His legs feel like they’re going to cramp up from not moving. Kageyama, who is much calmer now, worries that they might be stuck here until overnight. He'd do anything to make sure that he doesn't spend the night in a cramped elevator with an annoying boy, even if that meant he'd had to chew the door open.

    The silence breaks again when he hears Hinata clears his throat. “Kageyama…” he begins. Kageyama doesn’t respond.

    “Kageyama…” _maybe he’s going to apologise,_ Kageyama thinks, _which he should._ But it’s not like he’s going to forgive him, he just wants to hear the boy admit he was wrong. Kageyama stubbornly acts like he’s not hearing and continues to face the wall.

    Hinata doesn’t speak again for a while, which begins to annoy Kageyama for the thousandth time. But just when Kageyama resolves to turn around, a loud and long growl suddenly comes from Hinata’s stomach. Kageyama holds his breath.

    “Kageyama… I’m hungry.”

    Upon hearing him, Kageyama turns back towards the boy in a slow and excruciating manner. He has a frozen, dumbstruck look on his face that seems to say everything that he’s thinking. _Are you stupid?_

    Hinata eyes him expectedly and rubs his tummy. “I’m really, really hungry.”

    “S-so? What does that have to do with me?”

    Suddenly, Hinata has pleading eyes. “When we get out of here… can you make udon again?”

    Still dumbfounded, Kageyama can’t seem to find the words to reply to something as incredulous as what Hinata’s asking of him. Hinata doesn’t seem to be ashamed at all as he continues pleading with his eyes.

    “Why do you want my udon?” Kageyama asks.

    “Just… because,” Hinata shrugs nonchalantly, “your udon is very nice.”

    “O-oh, okay.”

    Hinata’s face brightens up. “So you’ll make it?”

    “I guess so,” Kageyama replies, feeling like there’s a stone in his throat as he bites the insides of his cheek. _There it is again,_ he thinks, _that unsettling pain in his chest_ ; where Kageyama feels absolutely terrible and messed up and confused and he doesn’t know how to react.

 

    Kageyama doesn’t know much time has passed but the next moment there’s a whirling sound above them and the elevator starts to move again. Kageyama and Hinata get up on their feet as the doors open. They are greeted by the electrician and building manager who apologises profusely for the hold-up. Kageyama, still a little dazed, doesn’t bother to raise his voice at them and walks past them to his apartment.

    Hinata follows suit and shuts the door behind them. Kageyama sighs in relief upon stepping foot in the apartment. He proceeds to shuffle to the couch to finally rest for the day.

    “Um, Kageyama…” Hinata pokes him. “I’m hungry…”

    “Hm? Oh,” Kageyama nods mindlessly and gets back into motion.

    He takes his time cooking, letting the kitchen fill with the smell of noodles. It almost makes him forget what happened today. After that, he procures two bowls of udon and sets them on the counter.

    They sit opposite each other at the counter again as they eat. Kageyama hears Hinata thank him softly to which he simply nods. _He can thank me but he can’t say sorry?_ Kageyama wonders, but he doesn’t say it aloud.

    They proceed to watch the television after they eat. Again, both of them appear on the screen; it’s them attending an event along with the rest of the team. Hinata looks as chirpy as ever, an easy-going smile on his face as he poses for the many cameras. Kageyama, on the other hand, knows his own smile is totally forced and hopes no one can tell. The more he stares at both of them and compare, the more he feels like Hinata’s a mystery.

    When Kageyama looks at Hinata from the corner of his eye, he can’t tell what going on in that head of his.


	5. Chapter 5

Their tenth day draws near. Kageyama feels like he’s mentally checking days off a calendar as he wakes up. Their seventh day is another busy day of training as Kageyama and Hinata both train tirelessly with the rest of their team. Hinata interacts more with the team, cheering them on and laughing along with any lame volleyball jokes that they might say. Kageyama glances at him as he practices alone, serving balls against the wall at the corner of the court. When Kageyama thinks about it, he feels like it’s more important to improve on his own skills above anything else.

    The coach calls everyone for another team game. The captain’s smart to remember to separate Hinata and Kageyama and make sure that the two ‘rivals’ don’t play on the same team. Kageyama’s relieved at that because it’s supposed to be that way—rivals, since high school and until this moment.

    Everybody knows the two went to same high school but that’s about as far as they’re told. They’re too afraid or awkward to ask about their history but judging from their relationship now, it’s pretty clear that it’s not something either of them want to talk about. Hinata says as little as Kageyama does, and although he may casually mention his old high school teammates in conversations, he never talks about Kageyama the setter from high school. Kageyama has never blatantly told the boy, or threatened him, from speaking about it but there seems to be a mutual agreement that their past is between them. The team respectfully avoids the subject and decide that it’s more important to train up their rookies.

    During the game, Kageyama can’t help but steal glances at Hinata occasionally. Sure, Kageyama has his head in the game and there’s nothing more important than concentrating during a match, but it’s a strange feeling to see the other boy standing on the opposite side of the court when Kageyama remembers his presence beside him.

    After a few more tiresome games and hours later, their vigorous training finally comes to an end. The locker room is filled with chatter and exhausted groans as the team head to the showers. Kageyama takes a longer shower than usual and lets the water trickle down his hair to his face, masking his weary face. He’s numb all over and if he could fall asleep standing like that he would have.

    He’s the last one to finish and by then, most of the team has changed and left. When he makes his way back his locker, he notices the orange-headed boy waiting for him, changed and sitting idly on a bench with his bag.

    Kageyama frowns and is thrown off-guard. Hinata stands up quickly, fumbling with the strap of his bag.

    “Y-you have the keys,” he says meekly.

    Kageyama nods. “O-oh yeah. Give me a second to change,” he replies, flustered. He feels as if the other is watching is him so he changes quickly.

    “Okay,” he says once he’s done, “let’s go…” he searches for the right words.

    “Back?” Hinata quips.

    “Back. Yes, back.” To say ‘let’s go home’ would be weird and inappropriate. Kageyama nods again as they head _back._

 

    It’s only a few hours past noon when they reach back to the apartment. And since neither of them have anything else scheduled for the day, that means they get to stay ‘home’ and rest. Hinata occupies the couch and watches TV while Kageyama holes himself up in his room and sleeps. Kageyama doesn’t awake or hear when Hinata leaves and goes out to buy food. When Hinata returns, he (obligatorily) knocks on Kageyama’s door and informs him that he’s bought food. Kageyama nods and wakes up to eat, realising how hungry he's been. He sits down quietly in the kitchen and eats while Hinata eats in front of the TV.

    They’ve been keeping up with this simple and systematic routine with the past few days since their stuck-in-the-elevator incident. When they came out of the elevator, it was as if there was a mutual agreement that it’s best if they keep out of each other’s way unless they want another fight. Kageyama thinks it’s the perfect and most peaceful solution to deal their situation until their contract ends.

    Kageyama’s about to wash the dishes when he hears the doorbell ring. His head swiftly turns to the door and there’s a mixture of confusion and fright. His first thought is that it might be their manager, but then again their manager also calls beforehand. He turns his head to Hinata who’s as confused as he is.

    “A-answer the door,” Hinata stammers, getting up from the couch and moving cautiously towards the entrance.

    Kageyama gulps but walks to see who’s at the door. But when he looks through the peephole, he’s in for a surprise. Behind the door, he sees a familiar-looking fellow with ear-piercings. Kageyama recognises the bald-headed man even with a snapback on.

    “Kageyama, who is it?” Hinata asks as Kageyama takes a step back, a bewildered look on his face.

    “Tanaka-senpai…”

    Hinata’s jaw drops. “Tanaka-senpai?”

    “Yes,” Kageyama clicks his tongue in annoyance, “do you think I’m kidding?”

    “No, it’s just that—“

    _Bang. Bang._ “Oi, let me in!” Tanaka yells, banging on the door.

    Kageyama and Hinata make eye-contact before the taller boy brings his hand up and unlocks the door. As the door opens, they are greeted with a cheeky grin on their high school senpai’s face.

    “About time you guys opened up! I almost couldn’t find this place,” Tanaka cries, pushing past them and entering. “ _Shitsurei shimasu!_ Wah, your place is huge!”

    Flabbergasted, Kageyama and Hinata watch and follow as Tanaka voluntarily tours the apartment and set down his belongings in the living room. Tanaka makes more comments on how big the apartment is, but the two boys are still in shock to answer and simply nod at his words. Tanaka eventually settles down at the couch and Hinata proceeds to get him a drink. Kageyama, who glances at Hinata, notices an almost guilty look on the boy’s face.

    “I didn’t know you were coming, Tanaka-senpai,” Kageyama tells him, sitting across. He’d never expect their senior from high school to visit. Tanaka looks noticeably different; with ear-piercings and tanner skin, he looks more like a delinquent than he did in high school. Kageyama hasn’t seen him, or anyone else from their former team, since he graduated and decided to never turn back.

    “Really? I texted Hinata,” Tanaka says. Both of them turn to the shorter boy, who props his hands up nervously.

    Hinata quaked, “You texted me where we stayed! I didn’t know it meant you were coming over!”

    “I even asked you which floor you were staying on!” Tanaka exclaims back. He shakes his head, “Anyway, I texted the others. They should be arriving soon.”

    “The others?” Kageyama asks, frowning.

    “The rest of the team, stupid! You didn’t think I came alone, did you? Of course we have to have a housewarming party!”

    Tanaka laughs, taking out his phone to show them the mass text he sent to the others. Kageyama and Hinata turn to each other, blinking, and a wave of dread comes over them.

 

    The rest of them come in twos. Daichi and Sugawara are the second to arrive, being nice enough guests to bring food and a few snacks. Sugawara comments on how clean the place looks and Daichi doesn’t hesitate to give a good, hard pat on the boys’ backs. Nishinoya and Asahi arrive next, Nishinoya venting how he almost couldn’t buy them alcohol because he looked ‘too young’. Tsukishima and Yamaguchi come too, surprisingly, even though Tsukishima complains how difficult it was for him to find this place and Yamaguchi seems nervous.

    As the former team sit in a circle around the couch, Kageyama notices how everyone has aged since high school. Kageyama hasn’t seen them since graduation but heard a few words about a few them when he moved to Tokyo, like what they’ve been doing or where they’ve been. Whenever he received an invitation for a group meet-up, he would always decline, citing business or distance as an excuse—when in actuality, he just couldn’t bring himself to see their faces. Seeing Hinata again was overwhelming as it is; even having him as a teammate on his new team and living with him, so having all his former teammates gather at his apartment brings him back all sorts of memories that he doesn’t want to face.

    As the group share food and chat about their lives, Kageyama peeks at Hinata to see what kind of expression he has on. And it’s not nervousness in the slightest. _Maybe he’s good at hiding it,_ Kageyama thinks.

    “So,” Daichi speaks up, “I had no idea you guys were moving in together.” Everyone turns to Kageyama and Hinata with curiousity. Kageyama gulps.

    “Neither did I! I saw the news on TV!” Nishinoya points out.

    “Yeah, I was so surprised!” Tanaka chimes in. “The last time we checked, you guys were hardcore rivals.”

    “They were fighting on TV, remember? Asahi, we watched it together!” Nishinoya says, nudging Asahi’s shoulder. Asahi nods wordlessly.

    “What happened? You guys suddenly warm up to each other, huh?” Tanaka asks.

    They stare at the two of them, and Kageyama feels the discomfort and awkwardness rising in him. He looks down at the floor, not saying anything. _They don’t know,_ he tells himself, _they don’t know a thing._ Kageyama doesn’t know whether to blurt out the truth or not but fights the urge to instead.

    “It’s because we’re both rookies,” Hinata answers. Kageyama looks up at Hinata, eyes wide. Hinata looks nervous and it’s clear to Kageyama that he’s as uncomfortable as he is, but he lies fluently. “Since we’re both new on the team, we decided with our manager that it would be good to move in together for a while. It’s easier to travel this way. You know, for training and events.”

    Hinata doesn’t look back at Kageyama, and Kageyama’s sure it’s because he might get more nervous looking at him. But in all honesty, Kageyama’s relieved. They don’t need to know about their contract and stuff.

    Sugawara nods understandingly. “I see. So, you guys are adjusting well to the team?”

    “Y-yes,” Kageyama replies.

    “Of course they are! They’re on Japan’s national volleyball team!” Nishinoya cries out proudly. “If anyone of us were to end up playing on that team it would be my awesome kouhais!”

    “And it would be because we have awesome senpais like Nishinoya-senpai!” Hinata boasts, beaming at his senior.

    The others laugh and the subject quickly changes to how Nishinoya was a bad senpai who taught them bad things (Kageyama can finally breath in relief). Nishinoya disagrees, but contradicts himself when he encourages everyone to drink the beer he bought. Soon, the party livens up and everyone’s drinking and getting intoxicated from the alcohol.

    Kageyama can’t hold his alcohol and sticks to drinking soda but he can’t help but find it amusing how everyone gets smashed in different ways. Nishinoya obnoxiously urges everyone to dance and Tanaka flirts with everything that has a pulse, even a lamp. Daichi is the only one dancing with Nishinoya, pulling out old dad moves that no one wants to see. Asahi sits in the corner and broods even harder than he usually does. Yamaguchi can’t stop having a hiccup fit and Tsukishima, to everyone’s surprise, giggles like a kid at anything anyone says.

    What’s really amusing to watch is Hinata. He’s as weak to alcohol as Kageyama is, but he’s intoxicated to the bones and getting excited about everything and anything. It’s particularly amusing when he jumps higher than usual and keeps yelling, ‘hey let’s go somewhere! Shouldn’t we go somewhere?!’. His face is as red as a tomato and Kageyama pretends he’s not finding it hilarious.

    “Kageyama, follow me to get some more ice,” Sugawara whispers to him. Kageyama nods obediently, but wonders what Sugawara’s intention is. They make their way to the kitchen, avoiding bodies of drunken people, and Kageyama helps Sugawara get ice from the fridge.

    “Senpai, you’re not drinking too?” Kageyama asks.

    “No, someone has to make sure these idiots get home, right?” Sugawara says jokingly. “But what I really want to ask is, are you okay, Kageyama-kun?”

    Sugawara peers into Kageyama’s eyes when he asks the question and Kageyama knows instantly that Sugawara is onto him. Kageyama gulps but tries to brush off the question and looks away. 

    “Huh? I-I’m fine. I-I’m not drinking because I d-don’t want to get drunk—“

    “Kageyama, let’s talk in your room,” Sugawara says politely, placing a hand on the boy’s shoulder. It sounds more like an order than a suggestion.

    Inside his room, Kageyama sits on his bed and feels his hands get clammy as Sugawara paces around. He’s not great at hiding his emotions but Kageyama didn’t think anyone would call him out on it. He can feel Sugawara's 'interrogation' aura emitting from him and Kageyama feels like a little boy caught for his naughty deed. 

    “Kageyama, are you okay? You’ve been uncomfortable since we arrived,” Sugawara says.

    “I’m fine, really. Just surprised to see everyone all of a sudden,” Kageyama replies. It sounds almost textbook-like.

    “Don’t lie to me, Kageyama,” Sugawara sits on the bed beside Kageyama. “The others may not ask you, but I will. So tell me the truth.”

    Kageyama hesitates. On one hand, he knows he can trust Sugawara. But on the other hand, it’d be like exposing his lie—their lie.

    “It’s about Hinata, isn’t it? The kid’s gotten good at lying but you haven’t.”

    Kageyama nods reluctantly. “It is…”

    “I was really surprised when I heard you guys spontaneously moved in together. Your fight during that match seemed to…” Sugawara on purposely draws out his words.

    Kageyama feels exposed, like a nerve. All of a sudden, he’s reminded of memories in high school and the trauma.

    “It’s only for a while… we’re going to move out separately soon,” Kageyama replies softly. “I never really agreed to the arrangement…”

    “What happened after we graduated, Kageyama? Daichi told me our kouhais were doing fine after us seniors left, and that you guys were carrying the team responsibly, but you and Hinata never came to one of our meet-ups so I thought something bad must have happened.”

    _Hinata never went?_ Kageyama wants to asks. He doubts the flashy kid would miss a chance to socialise with people.

    “Nothing much happened. We just… carried on and played until graduation. And then we went our separate ways.”

    Sugawara nods, but he doesn’t seem convinced. “So much for separate ways, huh? I bet you weren’t expecting to find out Hinata would be on the national team as well.”

    “I mean… I was going to encounter him eventually...”

    Kageyama always had a feeling that he’d meet Hinata again, one way or another, for the better or for the worse, whatever. He’s an expert at knowing how the past can haunt a person until they came face-to-face with it.

    "Yeah, but it still must have been shocking,” Sugawara. “I met Hinata once by chance. He came by the restaurant I was working at and he… wasn’t in a good condition. He looked like he didn’t eat in days. But when I asked him what happened, he didn’t talk… Kageyama, what really happened to you two?”

    Kageyama looks at Sugawara, feeling a lump in his throat and heart pounding nervously. He opens his mouth to speak. “Sugawara-senpai—“

    “SO THIS IS WHAT KAGEYAMA-KUN’S ROOM LOOKS LIKE!”

    Kageyama is cut short by the interruption of a drunk Nishinoya. Nishinoya barges into the room, slamming the door open and gapes at the younger boy’s bedroom. A drunk Tanaka follows shortly behind him, yelling incoherent words with Nishinoya.

    Kageyama stands up nervously and doesn’t know if it was a good thing that he was interrupted by them. He looks at them and notices they’re more wasted than before. He looks back at Sugawara who has that _you’re telling me no matter what_ expression on his face.

    “Alright alright, don’t suddenly intrude into someone’s room. Let’s get you two back outside with the others,” Sugawara sighs apologetically as he moves to usher the two drunkards back into the living room.

    “Oh, ssssorry Kageyama! _Ssssshitssssurei sssshimassssu!_ ” Tanaka slurs loudly.

    They leave Kageyama in the room alone and Kageyama sits back down shakily on his bed, feeling like he almost had a heart attack. He sighs and realises he almost told someone the truth. If anyone were to find out what happened, he would die of shame and guilt. Fortunately, it seems like Hinata hasn’t told anyone either.

    After calming himself down, he heads back out to the living room to find bodies of drunken but exhausted people lying on the floor. Most of them are basically passed out while the rest are barely able to speak the words they’re trying to say.

    “Kageyama, I think it’s time to bring them home,” Sugawara states. Kageyama nods.

    With Kageyama’s help, Sugawara manages to call a cab for a few of them and shove the rest of them inside his car (namely Nishinoya, Tanaka and Daichi who are way too drunk for Sugawara to let a poor cab driver handle).

    “Kageyama,” Sugawara says, before he drives off, “take care of Hinata, okay? I know something bad happened between you two and you’re probably hate him right now for something, but he’s as fragile as you are. You guys aren’t strangers so don’t act too much like it and look out for him, okay?”

    “Okay,” Kageyama replies. Sugawara gives him a smile and drives off.

    Kageyama heads back to the apartment. The place is a mess, with empty bottles and food remains on the floor, but Kageyama cleans up. He stares at the orange-headed boy lying on the couch, sleeping soundly.

    In this state, Hinata looks so peaceful and innocent that to Kageyama, it’s almost manipulative. He’s lying on his back, arms and legs spread out in different directions. His mouth is wide open for flies to enter and there’s drool rolling his cheeks. His hair is dishevelled and in his hand is an empty beer bottle. _He must have drunk a lot,_ Kageyama thinks. In this state, Hinata looks so peaceful and innocent that to anyone, it wouldn’t have seemed like he messed up someone’s life.

    Sugawara’s words play in Kageyama’s head. _He’s as fragile as you are._ If that were so, he would be more obvious. Unlike Kageyama, Hinata can lie and pretend and get drunk as if everything’s okay. Unlike Kageyama, Hinata doesn’t act he’s affected by what happened.

    _He… wasn’t in a good condition._ Kageyama wonders Sugawara meant by that. Surely, he meant that Hinata was just hungry. Right? Hinata’s always hungry.

    Kageyama takes the empty bottle from Hinata’s hand and throws it away. He goes to Hinata’s room and take the blanket from his head. Gently, he spread it out on Hinata’s body and tucks him in nicely. Hinata doesn’t awaken and only falls deeper into his sleep.

    Kageyama stares at him again and for a while, he watches the boy breath while his mind zones out. Unlike Kageyama, Hinata’s mind doesn’t seem be full of conflicted thoughts.

    “Kageyama…” Hinata whispers softly in his sleep, breathing slowly and calmly like a baby.

    “Hinata… what happened to you after we graduated?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they're getting there...


	6. Chapter 6

Kageyama figures they’re not going to get any more visitors for a while (at least, he’s praying for so). He asks Hinata if he’s told anyone else about where they live and Hinata assures him that he’s only told his family who lives all the way in Miyagi so Kageyama has nothing to worry about.

    It’s another boring day where Kageyama and Hinata have nothing to do for the day. They’re idle in the apartment by themselves and Kageyama feels like that’s much worse than having a busy schedule. Hinata, despite Kageyama’s belief, does not go out all day to socialise. Instead, he’s cooped up in the apartment with the _has-no-friends_ Kageyama. When Kageyama moved to Tokyo, he never bothered to make friends or talk to his neighbours. He’d spend his days at the gym playing volleyball until he was sore and come home late at night.

    Kageyama only ever stays in his room and goes to the kitchen or bathroom when he needs to. When he hears the television blasting, he knows that Hinata’s outside and knows not to leave his room. Because it’s awkward and he doesn’t want to bump into him. It’s weird knowing that they share a bathroom too, because both of them have surprisingly clashing bathing times which is entirely inconvenient for two boys who refuse to be second to bathe.

    The walls are so thin that Kageyama can distinguish every sound and word blasting from the television in the living room as he lies on his bed. Staring up at the ceiling, he thinks about nothing and sighs deeply.

    That’s when he receives a text on his phone. Picking up his phone, he’s surprised and at the same time, disgusted to see who the sender is.

**_From Oikawa-san:_ **

**_Tobio-chan!!! How’s my adorable kouhai? Still grumpy?_ ** **☆** **～（ゝ。∂）**

Kageyama clicks his tongue as he wonders why he never blocked Oikawa’s number.

**_To Oikawa-san:_ **

**_I’m busy._ **

    Oikawa must be bored, Kageyama thinks, and is about to delete his number when he receives a second text.

**_From Oikawa-san:_ **

**_I’m in Tokyo now. Let’s meet up._ **

    Kageyama frowns. There’s no way he’d agree to meet him. Oikawa has been annoying and mean to him since day one and if he wants to meet Kageyama it’s probably because he needs something.

**_From Oikawa-san:_ **

**_I want to eat yakitori. Meet me at Ginza in an hour._ **

**_From Oikawa-san:_ **

**_I’ll pay._ ** **☆** **～（ゝ。∂）**

    Kageyama clutches his phone tightly. There’s no way he’d agree to meet Oikawa because he asked. But… if that’d give him a reason to leave the apartment then he’d make the decision. Kageyama notices that the noise from the television has only gotten louder and gets out of bed.

 

 

    “Oikawa-san… you didn’t tell me Iwaizumi-senpai was joining us,” Kageyama says, sitting across from his two junior high seniors at the restaurant. He shoves his hands into his jacket coolly and stares at the brunet boy. Oikawa has his usual cheeky grin on his face and simply shrugs.

    “Oops, I must have forgotten to mention it,” Oikawa replies flippantly.

    Oikawa is one of the few people Kageyama stayed in contact with. But not because he wanted to—the older boy just kept sending selfies and random texts which Kageyama never replied to. And also because Oikawa, like him, pursued professional volleyball so Kageyama’s met him a couple of times. Actually, the national team’s decision for their new setter was between them. But in the end, despite Oikawa having more experience on the court, Kageyama was the final choice. Nevertheless, Oikawa’s spirits haven’t dampened and he’s no different than he was in the past; still cheeky, still competitive and still annoying.

    “You didn’t tell me either,” Iwaizumi says, flicking Oikawa on the forehead. Iwaizumi chose a different career path from Oikawa but even till now, he’s being dragged into Oikawa’s antics.

    “You wouldn’t have come if you knew you had to pay for a third person, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa tells him.

    “I thought you’re paying?” Kageyama says to Oikawa.

    “I am paying!” Oikawa declares. “With Iwa-chan’s wallet.”

    Kageyama cringes at the sound of Oikawa receiving a smack from Iwaizumi.

    Their food eventually arrives and Oikawa begins asking Kageyama question as they eat, or as Kageyama would like to put: his never-ending attempt to make Kageyama angry.

    “Tobio-chan, how’s chibi-chan?” Oikawa asks.

    Kageyama came prepared. “He’s fine.”

    Oikawa shakes his head and raises his eyebrows. “Must be tough living with him.”

    “It’s fine. We don’t talk much.”

    “But it must really be tough… since you guys aren’t exactly friends, right?”

    Kageyama shrugs, determined to keep the conversation as succinct as possible. Oikawa frowns.

    “How’s training going? I bet you’re making a lot of friends, right? My Tobio-chan’s really good at it.”

    “Training’s tough, as expected,” Kageyama replies sharply. He focuses on eating.

    “But everything must be really hard on you right?” Oikawa remarks. “I mean, you must face a lot of pressure since you weren’t actually scouted by the team…”

    Kageyama tries not to get stirred by Oikawa’s comment. He knows Oikawa’s trying to push his buttons and make him say something he doesn’t want to say. But maybe he shouldn’t have come at all, he thinks with regret.

    “It doesn’t matter,” Kageyama mutters.

    Oikawa nods, unconvinced. “But—“

    “Shut up and eat your food already, Oikawa. We came here to eat not attack our kouhai,” Iwaizumi suddenly says, smacking Oikawa again. He shakes his head and gives Kageyama an apologetic frown.

    “Iwa-chan, that hurts!” Oikawa exclaims, rubbing his arm. “I’m just genuinely curious about how Tobio-chan’s doing! He must be going through a very conflicting time now, you know, since Hinata was actually the one scouted by the team instead of him!”

    Kageyama nearly bites his tongue chewing on his food. He swallows his food heavily and places his utensils down with a grim expression on his face. He knew it was coming, he told himself to be prepared for it and he knew Oikawa would mention it just to provoke him, but hearing someone saying out loud to him still made his blood boil.

    Oikawa shows a flash of malice in his eyes, satisfied with his work, but before he can go on with his harassment, Iwaizumi intervenes for the second time and steps on Oikawa’s foot. “You idiot! I told you to stop! I’ll shove your food into your mouth if I have to,” Iwaizumi scolds.

    “It’s okay, Iwaizumi-senpai,” Kageyama says as calmly as he can. “I expected it. Excuse me, I need to go to the toilet for a second.”

    Kageyama stands up hastily and goes to the restroom to cool his head. He washes his face and stares at himself in the mirror. Veins are literally popping at his temples and his face is clearly red. _Don’t think about it, don’t think about it_ , he tells himself repeatedly, _it will only make you angrier._ But even so, Oikawa’s cold hard truth stings and Kageyama can’t avoid the harsh memories.

    _Kageyama wasn’t scouted by the national team, Hinata was._ It was right before graduation two years, and before it all fell apart. To them, there really was nothing but volleyball for them. It was their life and their future. They were scolded countless times by their teacher for filling up the same thing year after year in their 'future aspirations' forms, but they were serious about volleyball through and through. They were dangerously hopeful boys but Kageyama didn’t think his ambitions were too much. When Kageyama thinks back to the very day he found out, he can remember the look of guilt and pity on Hinata’s face when he told him. It’s a sight that Kageyama cannot forget, and cannot forgive.

     “Kageyama…” he hears Iwaizumi’s voice and whips around. He sees Iwaizumi standing behind him with an apologetic face. “Kageyama, I’m sorry for Oikawa’s behaviour.”

    “O-oh, it’s fine,” Kageyama replies, trying to hide the dryness in his throat. “I got too worked up, I guess.”

    “Still, he shouldn’t have said that,” Iwaizumi sighs. Kageyama nods quietly. “But… you know why he’s like that…”

    “I know...” Kageyama knows Oikawa’s pain of rejection.

    “He’s just a bit lost and fragile right now.”

    “Mm, yeah,” Kageyama responds. _Everybody’s fragile right now._

    “Come on,” Iwazumi reaches out to Kageyama’s shoulder, “let’s go back out and eat okay? I’m not treating you two idiots so that you can waste food.”

    Kageyama nods, following him back outside. “Thank you, senpai.”

    Kageyama understands Oikawa’s pain of rejection as well as he does. Sure, in the end, he managed to get the position he wanted on the team. As grateful as he is, it sure as hell sucks that he wasn’t actually their first choice or that he hasn’t actually scouted at all. He doesn’t even know how he got the position in the end.

    Kageyama gratefully thanks Iwaizumi for the meal, to which Iwaizumi simply tells him to take it easy. When Iwazumi nudges Oikawa, the stubborn boy just sticks out his tongue at Kageyama. On his way back to the apartment, Kageyama wonders if Hinata’s still watching TV.

 

 

    It’s only a little past noon when Kageyama reaches back. He was thinking that Hinata would be resting lazily on the couch as usual but he’s surprised to hear a second voice greet him as he returned. He walks to the kitchen to find Hinata with a guest.

    “O-oh, Natsu?” Kageyama says, eyes widening upon seeing Hinata’s younger sister sitting at the counter with Hinata.

    “Kageyama-kun!” Natsu cries out, her two ponytails bouncing as she walks to him to give him a hug. Kageyama hesitantly reciprocates.

    “I-it’s been a while, Natsu. H-how are you?” Kageyama asks nervously.

    Hinata’s younger sister, Natsu, looks different from the last time he saw her. Apart from the obvious fact that she’s older and taller, the little kid that Kageyama knew in high school doesn’t have her messy short hair or chubby cheeks. Standing taller with two long ponytails, she’s now a junior high student. Kageyama has to do a double take because even though she doesn’t look like she was before, she’s growing to look like a splitting image of Hinata.

    “I’m great! Mom and Dad couldn’t come because they have work even though it’s a Saturday so I came alone,” Natsu says. “But they sent oranges! You like oranges right? Hinata loves oranges.” Natsu drags Kageyama to sit with them and Kageyama barely has time to register what’s going on.

    “Natsu! Don’t bother Kageyama, I’m sure he has… stuff to do,” Hinata exclaims. He looks at Kageyama worriedly.

    “Ah, Nii-chan, I’m sure he doesn’t mind,” Natsu says, waving a dismissive hand. “Kageyama-kun, sit next to me!”

    Kageyama simply nods but he sends an _I-thought-you-said-no-one-else-would-visit_ look towards Hinata. Hinata mouths back sorry.

    “It took me two hours to get here from Miyagi, so I’m going to stay as long as I like,” Natsu chirps. “Plus, it’s not often I get to see nii-chan and Kageyama-kun together.”

    Kageyama nods grimly. The last time he saw Natsu was during high school when he visited Hinata’s house one day. Natsu wasn’t particularly excited about Hinata having someone else than her to hang out with but she warmed up to Kageyama after they played together. Ever since then, Natsu gets more excited to see Kageyama than her own brother whenever he came over.

    “I really haven’t seen you in a long time, Kageyama-kun. And whenever I ask Hinata about you, he just says ‘I don’t know’.”

    “Oh, I see. I think it’s been two years, right?”

    “Yup! Two years is really a long time! You should give me your number, Kageyama-kun, since Mom finally bought me a handphone. That way we can talk!” Natsu takes out her handphone and shoves it Kageyama’s hands.

    “Natsu, I said don’t bother him!” Hinata nags.

    “Nii-chan, it’s fine!”

    Natsu gives Kageyama such a broad and innocent smile, and Kageyama has no choice but to oblige. As he punches in his digits, he can feel Hinata’s legs shaking nervously beneath the counter.

    “Yay! Now I can text you all I want!” Natsu claps excitedly. “Oh, now that I’m here, we should something exciting, Nii-chan!”

    “What are you talking about, Natsu? We’re busy and tired people,” Hinata replies exasperatedly.

    “Doesn’t seem like it today when I came! You were lazily watching TV and I bet you didn’t move from the couch all morning!”

    “That’s not true! I went to the kitchen for food!”

    Natsu suddenly claps her hands together. Her eyes light up. “Ah! Speaking of the kitchen!”

    “W-what?” Kageyama asks.

    “Hinata told me over the phone that this place has a really, really nice kitchen. There’s everything you need. A fridge, a microwave, an _oven_ ,” Natsu stress on ‘oven’, “It’s seriously perfect for baking!”

    “Baking?” Hinata and Kageyama blurt out simultaneously.

    Natsu nods, standing up, and proceeds to scavenge the cabinets. “The real reason I came here was to use the kitchen. Our house’s kitchen is too small and doesn’t have an oven. I already bought the ingredients to make cookies so…”

    Kageyama frowns, registering what’s happening. He looks at Hinata who has a shocked and nervous look on his face and sighs to himself.

    Natsu takes out her bag of ingredients and sets them on top of the counter. Kageyama wonders he didn’t notice such a huge bag when he came in. But before he knows it, Natsu is assigning both him and Hinata as her assistant bakers. Which is a bad decision for so many reasons: 1) Kageyama and Hinata are trying to avoid activities with each other as much as possible, 2) Kageyama has never baked before and 3) Hinata once set his own kitchen on fire when he was trying to make a sandwich.

    “Natsu… I understand we have to bake,” Hinata says. He stands in the middle of the kitchen with a wooden spoon in his hand beside Kageyama. “But do all of us really have to wear such aprons?!”

    Natsu looks at them stupidly. “What! They were selling three for 2600 yen! I couldn’t pass up such bargain! Besides, I dressed too nicely today to dirty my clothes.”

    “I know but why am I wearing an apron that says ‘kiss the cook’?!” Hinata angrily shouts, pointing a finger at his chest. Hinata almost drops the wooden spoon as he points at the large ‘KISS THE COOK’ text printed on the red apron he’s wearing. “Kageyama’s one isn’t close to as embarrassing as mine!”

    Kageyama looks down at his ‘KING OF THE KITCHEN’ apron. He looks back at Hinata, who acts like he’s about to die of embarrassment, and can’t hide the chuckle that comes out of his mouth.

    “What are you laughing at, Kageyama?” Hinata points at him, his face red.

    “Your apron reaches all the way to the floor,” Kageyama chuckles, pointing back at him. Hinata is about to kick Kageyama when Natsu intervenes.

    “Nii-chan, don’t get angry at him. We’re here to bake, remember? Focus!”

    “No, _you're here to bake_ ,” Hinata retorts.

    Natsu sticks out her tongue childishly. “Whatever. You two are going to knead the dough for me while I make the frosting, got it?”

    Natsu lays down the ingredients and utensils in front of them. She instructs them carefully, ignoring every one of Hinata’s interruptions as she speaks. Kageyama listens attentively because if at least one of them doesn’t, Hinata might burn down this kitchen too. After her instructions, the three get to work.

    Natsu hums cheerfully but this situation is too awkward for either Kageyama or Hinata speak. They split the dough equally and knead the dough quietly side by side. Slowly, the awkwardness passes as they concentrate on their job. Kageyama’s shoulder grazes against Hinata’s hair and Kageyama can smell the strawberry shampoo he uses. Kageyama secretly snickers at him because the first time he saw the shampoo bottle in their bathroom, he thought of how much of a kid Hinata is. Kageyama looks over at Hinata, who’s squirming his face tightly in concentration as he kneads the dough with all his might, and Kageyama wants to snicker all over again.

    “Nii-chan! Try my frosting!” Natsu cries, breaking Kageyama’s train of thoughts. Natsu approaches them with a wooden spoon full of frosting and Hinata licks it excitedly.

    “How is it? How is it?” she asks.

    “Mmm, delicious! It’s really good!” Hinata says, giving his younger sister a proud smile.

    “Really? Yay! It’s marshmallow buttercream flavor since _he_ likes marshmallows,” Natsu replies. She passes the spoon to Kageyama.

    Kageyama nods satisfactorily as he tries it too. Then he glances at Hinata. “Oh, um, Hinata…”

    Hinata looks up at him, licking the corners of his lips. “Hm?”

    “You have a bit of, um, frosting on your cheek,” he says, pointing.

    Hinata tries to wipe it off but can’t seem to find the spot.

    “N-no, not there.” Suddenly, Kageyama’s hand reaches out to touch Hinata’s cheek and he wipes off the frosting for him.

    “O-oh, thanks,” Hinata says. He rubs his cheeks and looks away bashfully.

    Kageyama wipes the frosting on his apron and looks away too. He clenches his hands into fists as realizes how warm Hinata’s cheeks are when he touched them.

    Hinata clears his throat and realises something too. He turns to Natsu, frowning. “He? Are you making this for someone?”

    Natsu nods and giggles coyly. “You didn’t think I was making this for myself, did you, nii-chan? I’m making it for this boy at school.”

    “What boy? Natsu, do you have a crush on someone?” Hinata exclaims. He gawks at Natsu in shock.

    “So what if I do? You can’t stop me~”

    Hinata shakes his head. “Y-y-you aren’t allowed to date at your age, Natsu,” he tells her, trying to sound stern.

    Natsu simply giggles again. “You can’t even say that properly, Nii-chan~”

    “Oh yeah? How about this?” Hinata retorts. He brings up his hands which are covered in flour as smears it on Natsu’s face. Natsu freezes in shock and yells out her brother’s name. Hinata laughs loudly at her.

    “Nii-chan, that’s not fair!” she shouts. She grabs a handful of flour and vengefully throws it at him.

    Kageyama stands baffled as a flour fight starts between the two siblings. He moves away slowly and watches them. They’re laughing and playing like two kids. Hinata has the biggest smile on his face that Kageyama hasn’t seen in a while. It gives him a strange pain in his chest. But really, he hasn’t seen Hinata actually smile in a while. He knows when Hinata’s been forcing his expression and that’s been ever since they started living together.

    Kageyama’s about to step out from the kitchen when Natsu calls out his name. “Kageyama-kun, save me!”

    “Kageyama, stay out of this!” Hinata shouts.

    Suddenly Natsu is reaching out to Kageyama and Hinata accidentally throws flour at his face.

    “O-o-oh! K-K-Kageyama, I-I didn’t mean to. I-I swear!” Hinata apologies profusely. Hinata steps back and his face turns pale as he regrets his mistake. Natsu starts laughing.

    Kageyama, his face covered with flour, can barely open his eyes. He steps forward and digs his hand into the bag of flour and raises his hand.

    “K-Kageyama, I-I’m s-sorry—“

    Kageyama drops a handful of flour on top of Hinata’s head. Natsu covers her mouth in shock, and suddenly bursts out laughing again. Kageyama smirks.

    “Nii-chan, there’s flour in your hair!” Natsu exclaims.

    Hinata shakes the flour off his hair and starts laughing too. He looks up at both of them, his lips stretched out in a wide grin that seems to reach his eyes. He gives a smile that glows so brightly and so genuinely that it was if the sun toppled from the sky and made its way to his cheeks. _Ah, there is it again,_ Kageyama thinks, _that strange pain_.

 

 

    Hinata goes to the bathroom to wash off the flour from his hair while Kageyama and Natsu continue baking. Natsu is still humming happily as Kageyama finishes kneading the dough.

    “Kageyama-kun,” Natsu says, her humming coming to a stop as her tone sounds serious. She approaches Kageyama.

    Kageyama looks at Natsu to find that she’s already looking back. “Yes?”

    “H-how is Nii-chan?” she asks nervously.

    Kageyama feels like he’s heard this question before. “Um, he’s okay, I guess.”

    “Sure? I hope he’s okay,” Natsu replies.

    “What do you mean?”

    “He wasn’t doing so well before,” she says, a worried expression on her face that tells Kageyama she’s remembering something. “I was really worried for Nii-chan since he was alone but when I heard you two moved in together I felt relieved.”

    Kageyama nods slowly. He really feels like he’s heard these words before.

    Natsu continues, “Please look out for him, okay? Kageyama-kun? I don’t want to see Nii-chan sad again.”

    Kageyama places a hand on Natsu’s head. “Sure, I’ll look out for your Nii-chan,” he tells her assuringly and gives her a slight smile.

 

 

    They wait in the living room for the cookies to bake. Natsu talks about junior high and her many little stories and complaints while Hinata keeps asking her about the boy she supposedly has a crush on (‘I’m not baking for a boy’, Hinata says, but Natsu only retorts ‘you already did’). Kageyama is as silent as ever, half-paying attention and half-zoning out with his million-and-one conflicting thoughts.

    Once the cookies are baked, Natsu decorates them with frosting. There are enough cookies for all of them so Natsu leaves a few from Kageyama and Hinata and even decorates two just for them. It’s a little late in the afternoon when the cookies are finally ready to eat.

    Natsu tells them she has to go home so that she can be on time for dinner. Hinata and Kageyama both send her off. It’s only when they’re alone in the apartment that Kageyama realises they didn’t avoid each other today.

    An awkward silence falls between them again. Hinata goes straight to the couch again and switches the television on. Kageyama is about to head to his room as well when Hinata stops him.

    “Kageyama, want to watch TV?” Hinata asks, avoiding eye contact.

    Kageyama gulps. He knows there are many things and many reasons for him to say no but at that moment, his mind feels blank. He nods slightly.

    “…Okay,” he says.


End file.
